I Am A Dancer I

(MY MOTHER DIED Aug 29 2018)BOLD_Owen_07

friends
(most are women)
have told me,”you think
too much”, “you ask
to many deep questions”,
“You’re a bit weird”
“not like most men”
I’ve always felt
that was up for discussion,
obvious.

I’m a dancer

my mother died in August.
we had an awkward relationship

I like science fiction.
I’ve always wanted to understand
quantum physics.
I heard that Albert Einstein’s
theory was proven
in the trenches of WWI.
and before that you needed
a graduate degree to understand
the physics of the universe.
and since that E=MC2
is understood by highschool students.

I’ve wanted to translate
my knowledge
into simpler formulas
for easier relationships.

I’m a dancer.

When I was 16
I watched my mother storm in
pick up a length of wood
and head my way.
A quiet voice
stood me up
and commanded
unflinching resolve
I held her eyes
she brought it down
on my shoulder.
‘Maybe it broke’
My father quiet
to my resolve.
“Don’t hit your mother.”

I walked 20 miles
through the night
to see a nun
in a convent
avoiding car lights
on country roads
I arrived at dawn
I waited until 7
I was hungry
She made me tea.
I told her my story.
She asked me if
there was anything
else.
I was 16
I was devastated
I was steel
I was the wolf
scouring forest trails
I said “No”
I got up to go.
She said, “Goodbye”.

I went to university
and studied physiotherapy
and asked deep questions
and joined the Baha’i Faith
and the new earth order
and that was a bit weird
and even there,
still not like most men
and not like most women.
and married
and begot 3 sons
and spent some hours
each week helping
on my father’s farm
and burning out at work
and getting fired up
and for fifteen years
taking holidays
to have conversations
with politicians
about rural health

I saw a signpost
Performance Community
and something glimmer
in the distance
like a bright new
city of the future
and took that track

I’m a dancer

These past 14 years
I’ve had lunch with my mother
and father, or coffee
every week
helping around the farm,
being frustrated with them
finding a way to accept
no apology
finding a way to say,
“I love you.”
finding a way to tear them
away from their farm
his workshops,
her orchards.

In his dementia
in a house in town
my father remembered
“that bloke came around again”.
he fell and broke his hip
I sat with him in emergency.
He said, “It’s time”
I glibly, “Time for a cuppa?”
He gave me a sour look,
a ‘fuck off’
I felt I’d disappointed him.
He died.

There’s not much for a wolf
in a modern society
– pickings at the edges

I don’t know whether
my mother knew
I am a dancer.

My mother died in August.
We buried her in September.
Her friends noted to me
how lovely she was
to be with.

Sadness tinges
I didn’t forget
not to go around for lunch
or coffee.

 

TeLL Me WHo i aM

Don’t tell me
who I am.
It doesn’t matter.
I can’t understand.
Your language makes no sense.
And you do not know
in any case.
Tell me who you are.
Then I might know
who I am.

The Spiritual Nature of Building the World

Religion has two effects in the world of humanity. Both foster the progression of civilization, the design and build of the human world.

To understand these effects, we must first understand the nature of the human as being a presence in the world.

The human nature is founded on an animal requirement to protect itself and dominate others, through which it can protect it’s future progeny. We call this the ego or the identity.
The protection and domination roles are implemented and amplified through language, the constant deriving of meaning (story) from events, and interpreting those events in such a way as to allow us ‘reasons’ to protect ourselves or dominate others. The identity will latch on to any story that might give protection or domination leverage, and any story will. The identity creates the world both through it’s story and by creating meaning, maintains an unawareness of reality and it’s Creator. This ‘being unaware’ is the fundamental vehicle brought into being by the prime creative force, the Word of God, for the nurturing of the reality of the human, the soul. It is in the human being that language can enormously heighten the expression of the animal nature, but through which giving up protection and domination, detachment from worldly appetites, following the revelation of Baha’u’llah, and the creation of an extraordinary future, can find expression.

The Great Educators provide a fundamental story with two objectives: the spiritualisation of humanity and the progress of civilization.
The spiritualisation of the human being requires that the identity allows a new story to be entertained. The story of spirituality for this era, is the story provided by the Great Educator, Baha’u’llah. It includes showing us to look for that which we are unaware, the Creator. It includes looking at our ego, to bring it to some discipline, moving it aside to allow a calmer, vulnerable yet powerful mindset. It includes encouragement to replace stories of disunity with stories of unity with all humanity. It leads to diffusion of our ego, softening all protection and domination, and allow the full expression of love, justice and service to all humanity.
On the other hand, the civilizing of the human being occurs through the re-identification of the ego with the new story: the unity of humanity, the elimination of prejudice, education for all, equality, equity. The ego, scrambling to reassert it’s efforts to protect and dominate, will utilize the new story. For only the ego can create the world, as only the ego is unaware of the Creator. Now the new story becomes a motivator of new design, new building, new wealth production, new distinctions.
The era of Baha’u’llah has the signal characteristic that the mass of humanity will have access to the tools of spiritualisation, of giving up their desire for protection and domination. Three milestones might be anticipated in the emergence of both of these effects from the revelation of Baha’u’llah. The first milestone of the Dispensation of Baha’u’llah is World Peace, the giving up of domination and protection of other nations or regions of people through the amassing of weapons. This is synonymous with the agreement between all nations to support each others borders and the participation of all peoples in local, national, and international policy. The second milestone of the dispensation of Baha’u’llah is the widespread education of humanity to its own unity, a forgetfulness of parochial identity under an identity as Earthlings, the achievement of equity of all people, and the free movement of people over the planet. The third milestone of the dispensation of Baha’u’llah is the minimization of the ego to the basic fulfillment of its needs (food, water, procreation, shelter), and the extraordinary access to the creative resource  of the collective mind. Such creative power will ensure the protection of humanity from the many environmental disturbances of the planet and the solar system, and simultaneously realising the scientific paradigm shift that will enable humanity to escape the planet on new adventures into the solar system and the galaxy.

Freeing humanity from the confines of the planet will see the modification of the cultural norms of the Earthling, that humanity will create over the next 100’s of years. We cannot image what the mindset of those norms will be. The language, the noun, the verb, that we use today, will have no relevance in that future. What sense the analogies of the spiritual winter, to those who live among the twinkling of stars, who live for 200 or 300 years, who travel at relativistic speeds? Yet, so it shall be that a Great Educator in some form, will appear among them, and shoulder the rejected love that will perturb that disrupted mind, and create another great attractor of civilization.

If only in acknowledgement that, like the prophets of the past, we have no language like the language of the future, we have no mind to recognize the constructions, let us not dwell more than a moment on the vast horizon of the future. Long enough to wonder, long enough to allow ourselves the reflection that this wonder, this excitement that we feel in anticipation that we will, indeed, dominate the stars, is just another form of our unawareness of the Creator. Let us then deal with our immediate pathway into the future, our immediate moment. Let us see a great space immediately before us, free of vengeance, free of anger, free of fear. To the extent the image of tomorrow is cluttered it, it is only cluttered by our vengeance against our broken hearts. Let us move the vengeance aside. Let us ask forgiveness from the Creator, and as the Creator forgives, we might harbour no less love and forgiveness of ourselves, no less love and forgiveness of others. Let us make effort in this. The path is open, only our own veils, our own stories, hide it. Let us fill our minds with a letting go, an openness to the Holy Spirit, the Creator.

And so we build the world and go joyfully to the next.